Hello Turtle fans.
I stated to our listeners in the fifth episode of our podcast ('Episode 5: The Movie News Episode: A New Hope?') that I would post a review on the TMNT episode 'The Kraang Conspiracy' from the beloved Nick show (no sarcasm intended there).
Why is this episode so special? Why did I want to review this particular episode? Well, I feel so strongly about this certain episode, on things I didn't like and things I would have changed, that I decided I wouldn't rant about it in words in the podcast, but I would pound on my keyboard, while screaming at my computer screen like an angry fanboy instead.
(Which I do not intend to do, I am over exaggerating there. This episode was okay overall, don't get me wrong.)
So that's why this blog was started.
I will take you step by step through events that happen in this episode, commenting on things along the way. Beware, I will include spoilers, so be sure to see the episode before you read through this post. Okay, let's dive right in then.
The episode starts out with the turtles running across the rooftop, with April following close behind. Well, not really. She slowly catches up, panting, is more like it. She's surprised when the turtles tell her this is only their warm up. Their two hour warm up.
April wants to get her hands dirty and is eager to dive into a mission, but Raph tells her they had to train 15 years until they got to go on their first mission, so she has awhile to wait. As they talk, we see that someone is taking pictures of them. And April, with her weird (telepathic?) powers, senses that someone is watching them, and points out a figure hiding on a different roof, who quickly skidaddles.
The first time we've seen April use these type of powers (that I remember) is to locate a Kraang communication device. (And, with her being half Kraang, I guess that makes sense.) One other time that I remember is in 'The Good, The Bad, and The Casey' episode, where she senses that some Foot robots are approaching. And now she is sensing that there is a human nearby. What exactly are these powers, and how does being a 'mutant' give her these powers? Like, how did the Kraang DNA in her blood impact her body so that now she has these powers? Can Kraangs sense their surroundings like this? I don't believe we've ever seen a Kraang sense that there is a turtle nearby. Will we ever have these questions answered? Let's hope so, but I'm not exactly holding my breath.
And why is she only now getting these powers? "You are now sixteen." April's power told her in a dream. "With great power, comes great responsibility, and you are now sixteen and responsible, so the powers will start kicking in right about now." But, seriously, I think the only reason that her getting her powers only recently is reasonable is because of her training with Splinter. Because of him, she is more aware of her surroundings and able to focus on who she really is. That's the only reason I can think of.
Back to the rooftops, this figure runs off (Kurtzman), the turtles (and April) quickly following. To get to the next rooftop, the turtles use grappling hooks (which was Mikey's main weapon in the later episodes of the 1987 series). To no avail, April's doesn't work, so Donnie offers her to use his rope.
She slides down. He has his chance. Arms wide open, he stands at the end of the rope, ready to catch the girl of his dreams. He closes his eyes, and feels the atmosphere. The wind whispers to him, telling him that 'love is in the air'. Oh wait, no it isn't. April uses Donnie's shell to propel herself to the ground, not giving him any thought, leaving Donnie in a awkward moment.
Kurtzman heads into an apartment building, the four turtles and human girl following. They enter the (now empty?) apartment, finding a WHOLE bunch of pictures of the Kraang. Kraang in different eras of our history. Kraang in different forms. They also find pictures of...the turtles. And April. And other mutants. This guy is one big stalker for sure. Looks like he has been following them for awhile, snapping shots. But why?
Raph ends up finding Kurtzman spying on them (like usual) in his own apartment. Once discovered, he says he is "finally face to face with the talking turtles and...April O'niel herself." He then goes to touch April, for the, let's just say, weirdo he is. But to keep the rating Y7, Leonardo stops him and demands to know who exactly he is. (Okay, Kurtzman's attempt to touch April was probably like an attempt to pinch himself. He was checking if this was all real. But still.)
Kurtzman says he was a journalist, on a case of a missing scientist "last year". But that's when he discovered something much bigger. The Kraang. He dramatically pushes his belongings off a table, and slams his notebook down, which has pictures of long ago eras, filled with the Kraang. "The alien infiltration is long lived, ancient in fact." They have been using the mutagen to try and terraform the Earth (the Kraang are trying to take over the Earth and make it like their planet/dimension, to put it simply).
"But they couldn't use the mutagen in our universe without a specific chain of human DNA. They spent millennia capturing people. Shaping human kinds genetic code. Until finally..." Kurtzman shows a baby April, with April immediately recognizing it. "Your mother was taken by the Kraang before you were born. Then she was . . . experimented on. That's why you're so special, April. Your DNA can perfect the mutagen in this dimension."
Whoa, hold it right there. So let's get this straight. Kurtzman started researching the Kraang LAST YEAR? He knows a whole bunch of stuff for starting research last year. I mean, the resources must not be that hard to find. So, knowing this, why hasn't anyone else discovered this stuff? How are the Kraang still living in secret?
And the Kraang have been on Earth for years. And they only now find a woman (whose pregnant with a baby) and experiment on her, making April half filled with Kraang DNA. Why haven't they done this earlier? They have been capturing people for ages. Does April's mom have a special genetic code from her ancestors (like the Egyptians or Pilgrims that were shown)? Is that why they had to wait? For this genetic code to finish coding through the years, until it finally got to April's mom? But then why would they have had to "...experiment" on her?
So many questions. That I hope we get answers too, but the Nick show can be somewhat vague at times. But it is a kids show, so we can't expect some science professor to recommend this to his class on how the show correctly portrays how genetic coding can be changed.
But we sure aren't finished with April's mom. I believe this will still be explored in later episodes.
Then the Kraang bust in the apartment, and they've been searching for Kurtzman. How do they know about him? Kurtzman seemed to know that they knew about him, so why hadn't he changed location? We don't know. A very well done fight seen begins. At one moment, Donnie is rejected by April AFTER he saves her life. Then, Leo saves April's life (again), and April (instead of thanking him), gives him a sarcastic remark. Wow, such a nice friend. (Maybe she's just tense because of what she has just learned? Who knows.)
Don calls for a retreat, and everyone follows out the window. Everyone except Mr. Kurtzman, that is. He's too worried about his notebook. "I can't leave without my notebook." He says, as lasers shoot at him. Why exactly can't he leave? Well, I guess this is his lives work. Except...it's not his lives work. It's work he's been doing for a year. But, seriously, the notebook is more like a scrapbook than anything else. It's only filled with ancient Kraang pictures.
But Kurtzman gives up, because of these death lasers shooting at him. He slowly backs up towards the window...and then falls out of it. To his death. I feel like this little 'I need my notebook' was just a tool to try to get your adrenaline pumping. But nothing results from it, as Mikey saves Kurtzman and the notebook is not retrieved. The turtles get to ground level with Kurtzman, and April slowly and awkwardly follows, trying to act natural. They wait for her to get down, and then they move.
A Kraang, in a cool spider robot vehicle, finds them outside and shoots at them with a huge laser gun on the front end of it's 'vehicle'. The gang quickly loses it, however, and gets the turtle van...from a nearby garage. I do like, however, when the Spider Kraang is chasing the van, Leo just backs up, crushes the Spider Kraang's laser gun, and then drives off. Spider Kraang proceeds to cry like he has lost his coolest toy ever.
In the car, Kurtzman tells the turtles they need to head into TCRI (the Kraang's old lab) and erase the data they have on April. But WHY? How will this help the turtles, or April, or Kurtzman at all?! The Kraang still know that April has this specific chain of DNA. The Kraang still know that they need April. They know all they need to know. What will erasing this from their computers help?
April states, "I thought you guys blew that place up (in the Booyaka Showdown episode)." We last saw that place a few episodes ago, still in ruins, in the Mikey Gets Shellacne episode. But the gang peers up at TCRI, and notices it is all fixed. How convenient. Raph goes on to say (I think it's Raph, but it actually sounds a lot like Leo), "Wow. They rebuilt TCRI? Already?" Yes, it was fast. Very fast, Raph. How did the turtles not notice this rebuilding process though?
April wants to head in and help, but Leo tells April and Kurtzman to stay out on look out. Kurtzman's happy to volunteer...and we aren't exactly sure if it's because he wants to continue what he already started back in his apartment, if you get what I'm saying. (Sorry, David has rubbed off on me too much recently. I must pure my thoughts.) I was really hoping at this point that Kurtzman would be bad, because that would make the character a whole lot more interesting. But nope.
Kurtzman gives Leo a Kraang key card he stole awhile back to get into TCRI. April gives a evil stare at Kurtzman as he wishes them good luck, and Kurtzman kind of seems taken aback. I thought that was pretty funny.
April follows the turtles, even though she wasn't supposed to (at least she doesn't stay with Kurtzman). As the turtle are about to head in, April says (again) that she wants in on the action too. But they tell her to stay where she is. After they leave, April proceeds to convince herself to go in, because she can't be standing out here like "some stupid sidekick".
How stupid are you, April? You KNOW the Kraang want you. You're heading right into their lab because you're arrogant and you don't like your pride being hurt. She's rebelling against the turtles (who have great reasoning!) because she can't take no for an answer. Maybe this will lead to a lesson at the end of the episode, where April realizes her arrogance and apologizes to the turtles!
The turtles arrive in TCRI, and find a whole bunch of android bodies . . . charging. With the Kraang inside. This is something extra about the Kraang we didn't know about earlier. They have to charge. I hope this is explored in a later episode.
April enters, telling the turtles she is "sick of sitting on the sidelines". Instead of sending her back, Leo says she can stay, and proceeds with some rules. I really don't blame Leo for this, since if he had made her leave, she would've just come back anyway. As a leader, it's hard to deal with people who constantly tell you 'no'.
Mikey accidentally activates the room full of androids (or maybe he didn't, you'll have to see the episode to decide for yourself). The androids awaken, and the turtles quickly retreat to an elevator, headed up to a higher floor in TCRI (using the key card). There's a awkward, funny moment where they are just all sitting in the elevator. Raph states the music makes his ears bleed.
The turtles stealthily leave the elevator, April crawling out behind them. They enter into a very dark room, where a group of flying Kraang seem to be communicating with Kraang Prime. April can hear their communication (which is communicated by thoughts). Kraang Prime says that the experiment (what experiment?) is complete, and the mutagen will be ready, despite setbacks. But I thought they needed April's DNA for the mutagen. Maybe this has something to do with April's mom?
Kraang Prime says they will soon terraform the Earth and "all it's hideous people". This makes April gasp, making Kraang Prime notice her. Kraang Prime alerts the other Kraangs of the intruders. To escape, Leo tries to use the trusty elevator again, but it doesn't work. April has given them away. 'But she helped them figure out what Kraang Prime was communicating!' you may say, in her defense. But, really, we learned absolutely nothing from that conversion.
A fight ensues, which includes "the freak with the exploding elbows!". April actually saves Donnie once, but this is after he saves her, which ended up putting them in a vulnerable situation. Don would have never been needed to be saved if it weren't for April.
April is then attacked by a Kraang, and it has a advantage over her, but April is too arrogant, saying "I will not ask for help". But things get even worse for her, which makes her call for help as she is dragged away. Donnie's help, actually. Seems like he is now being appreciated.
After they defeat the "girl with the exploding elbows", the turtles run towards the hallway April was dragged into. As they run down the hallway, searching for her, April ends up finding them first. She comes around the corner, towards them, chased by Kraang droids shooting lasers. April quickly herds the turtles into a storage room or something, and closes the door behind them. They're safe.
The turtles realize it's a dead end. Then, gas starts pouring in from the ceiling. April starts laughing. Evil laughing (which Mae Whitman really gives a good evil laugh here). What is this, laughing gas? But then we see April's face, and it looks like she has gone crazy. April tells the turtles there is no escape. The gas starts to take it's toll on the turtles, and it looks like it's poison gas or something. April, however, is not affected. Donnie jumps to the conclusion of mind control, but April tells him to guess again, and performs some kick butt moves on him, making him go flying. Raph figures out she's an android, and Donnie (hating the job ahead of him), slams April into the door control panel, making the door open and making this April droid burst into liquid goo. The turtles quickly run out of the room, before the gas kills them.
This April clone is . . . creepy. If I were a kid, I would probably be creeped out. Especially because, at first, you think it's the April we all know and love. But this is nothing compared to...April Derp.
Leo, using some pretty awesome stealth moves to avoid a security laser, uses the key card to get into a room filled with...April. Lots and lots of April. All suspended in motion, in some kind of liquid. They are clones. Perfect genetic duplicates, I might add. The Kraang are trying to recreate April's DNA. Mikey thinks these fakes are pretty weird. But where's the real April?
Getting ready to have her brains sucked out of her head, that's where! She's strapped down on a table, and a huge needle is above her head. A few Kraang androids stand around her. They tell her that the clones aren't really working out too well, and they need some of her DNA. The needle starts lowering. April looks for a little comprise, and offers to give them some of her hair, which also has her DNA. But the Kraang like entertainment, so they continue.
Okay. So the Kraang needs some of April's DNA to perfect the mutagen to terraform the Earth. They've tried to get this DNA plenty of times, by capturing her, but the turtles always save the day. Wouldn't hair have fallen off of April's head at least one of those times? Humans lose about 50 to 100 pieces of hair a day. Maybe the Kraang are too lazy to look on the ground for her hair. I mean, it's not like they've been trying to perfect DNA for ages so they could get perfect mutagen or anything. Or maybe they were just waiting to get her DNA cause they wanted some entertainment.
Or maybe because of the portion of Kraang DNA in April's blood, hair doesn't fall off her head. Because the Kraang don't have hair, so they aren't used to 'shedding'. Hmm, interesting thought.
But let's talk something through. They are about to suck April's brains out, because they need her DNA to perfect the mutagen. A Kraang even said it himself, "The DNA that belongs to the April clones are lacking Kraang. Kraang needs real April DNA." Wait one second. I thought that Kraang Prime just was talking about some experiment (that's nearly complete). And (despite setbacks) the mutagen will be ready (as planned). So why in the world do they still need April's DNA?! This sure isn't making a lot of sense. And I'm pretty sure this wasn't planned and won't be explained.
Anyway, back to the turtles. Donnie types on this odd, Kraang computer (which he seems to be an experienced pro at, but hey, he's a techy turtle). He must have gotten the hang of it after the few times in season one when he was like, "say what?". While Don is working on erasing the data on April (which we still have no idea how this will help anything), we hear April scream off in the distance.
But before the turtles head off and do what teenage mutant ninja turtles do, some Kraang enter and open the "reject bin". Out comes an utterly hideous, messed up clone of April. Her name? April Derp.
(David and I discuss our views on this April Derp in our podcast episode 'Episode 5: The Movie News Episode: A New Hope?', so for that reason, I won't go into what I think about Mrs. Derp here. But be sure to check that episode out for what was said.)
Raph heads off to go save April (making Donnie mad, cause he wanted to be the knight in shining armor). We cut to April, and we see the huge needle above her shut down, and Raph appears on top of it, her amazing savior. She was about to have her brains sucked out of her head, she should be grateful, right? Wrong. Very wrong. "Great. Saved by Raph. I'm never going to live this down." He just saved your LIFE, April. Why is she being so arrogant? Because her pride is hurt, since she has to be saved? Goodness gracious! But in the process of saving her, Raph is overtaken by six androids. The needle gets closer and closer to April, but Raph (pinned down) can do nothing about it.
But April can. Suddenly, she sends out some sort of wave (with her mind powers, whatever they are), which stops the Kraang surrounding them. It even makes April Derp turn into a pile of slush. Should be interesting to see these powers explained. Raph quickly runs up to April, gets her off the table, the needle narrowly missing her (the needle traveled MUCH faster once she was off the table, which is kind of funny).
Donnie and friends find April...and once they do, Donnie sure appreciates she's alive. He goes all Kurtzman on her. Anyway, the gang heads out the way they came...but run into thirty or so April clones! April gets lost in them, and the turtles can't figure out which April is which!
Until the real April starts slicing all the phonies into goo, that is. The turtles follow her lead, and quickly escape, but not far behind are some Kraang droids! A Kraang car pulls up in front of the gang, and now they're stuck. Well, until the door pops open and it's Kurtzman himself! He tells them to get in, which they do, and the Kraang are polite enough to not shoot until they all file into the nice and cozy van.
Kurtzman: "So, did you wipe out the Kraang computers?"
Don: "We did, by the skin of our noses." (STILL no explanation for why they needed to.)
Raph: "The only reason we survived was because of April. Whatever you did back there...saved us all."
What? WHAT?! You survived only because of April?! Since the beginning of the episode, April has gotten in their way. She was stubborn and didn't obey their orders. Her pride was hurt, so she acted out of anger. She headed right into TCRI (even though she was told not to), got captured, and then 'powered' her way out of the situation, 'saving' them. They would have never gotten into the position of having to BE saved in the first place if it wasn't for April! If April would've stayed outside, the turtles wouldn't have had to find April (after the Kraang Prime incident), and wouldn't have mistaken the fake, evil clone April as real. They could have stalled April Derp long enough for Don to erase the computers, and wouldn't have had to deal with the thirty April clones. April didn't save you, Raph. She just got you into more trouble.
And what has April learned? That she should listen and obey? Nope. She's learned she should always disobey and be an ungrateful little girl, because it will end up working out in her favor. And what are all the little girls who are watching this learning? They are learning to be just like their role model, April.
Kurtzman drops the gang off in a nearby alley, and slips Leo a card. "Well, I'm off. Someone's got to keep an eye on the Kraang. They're everywhere! If you ever need my expertise, you know where to find me." So Kurtzman is now moving on to bigger and better things, now that the April information is erased from the Kraang computers. Seems like a very vague reason to get the Kurtzman character out of here, but since I don't really care about this Kurtzman guy, I'm okay with seeing him leave. But I'm sure he'll be back . . . (I'm also sure he handed April one of his cards too.)
Back in the sewers, Don is looking through a microscope at a pink liquid (blood?), and freezes. "This doesn't seem possible." He says. "Based on all the info I've culled from the clone lab, your cellular blend is actually a morphogenesis blend of human and Kraang DNA. You're not entirely human, April. That's why you have psychic powers. In fact, you are a half alien, half human...mutant." Well, that sure does take care of a interspecies relationship.
But, seriously? 'Based on all the info I've culled from the clone lab?' What did you exactly 'cull' from the lab? We never saw you do this. When did you have time? Did you read it on their computer or something? No, you didn't, since you found out she was a mutant BECAUSE of this pink liquid. So what is this pink liquid? Is it the goo from the clones or April Derp? Nope, that was black. Then what is this pink stuff? It must be blood. Real April's blood, which Don is finally looking at (even though he's known she's different [including her DNA] for a LONG time. So why hasn't he looked at her blood/DNA before?). And if this is her blood, why did Don say this is based off info from the clone lab? This seemed like an ending that was just pinned onto the end of an unnecessary episode. There was no build up, there was no thought process behind why they needed to erase the computers or why the Kraang needed her DNA if they already fixed the mutagen or how the turtles figured out April was a mutant. It's like the writers decided, 'It's now time to let everyone know she's a mutant', and so they based a very loose and poor episode that would lead up to April learning this. (I actually like her being a mutant, by the way.)
I don't have a problem with this episode. What I do have a problem with is the Kurtzman character, the plot holes, April learning she can rebel against authority, and bad writing. So...I guess I do have a problem with this episode.
I would've rather had an episode like this. The turtles and April find Kurtzman (a much better version of Kurtzman), who tells them all he knows about the Kraang. However, there is a piece he is missing from the puzzle, and he knows exactly where this piece is, except he can't find it alone. He asks for April and the turtles help, and they accept. The turtles object to April coming (since she's not ready), and April agrees. But Kurtzman says they will need April's help, so she comes along. The gang heads underground, below TCRI, where the Kraang has started rebuilding their new lab. The 'gang' goes on a crazy adventure, fight off April clones, and April has her time to shine and help out the team (with her powers of course)! Near the end of the episode, Kurtzman leads the way to a secret room with a huge screen. After a sweet boss fight in this huge room, a video accidentally is played on the screen. And who is it? April's mother herself, telling April she is a mutant.
Boom. That's a brilliant episode.
One other thing I didn't really like is how in the next episode, Fungus Humungous (a filler), April being a mutant was never discussed! April seemed pretty shocked at the end of The Kraang Conspiracy. I think she would have talked about it, instead of going on with life as usual. This sort of thing happened in season one, too, when at the end of the episode TCRI, we find out April is the one the Kraang want. And then the next episode comes along, Cockroach Terminator (another filler), and this big reveal was never discussed.
Well, that's all I have to say. Thanks for reading through this long review. Let me know what you think, and comment on this post. Or email us at: SewerSirensPodcast@hotmail.com . Also, let me know if you would be interested in me reviewing more episodes.
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Thank you guys for reading!
Grady
Sewer Sirens Podcast
