In the month of September, we recorded our last episode before our hiatus. To go out with a bang, David and I both decided to compete against each other (you can hear all about it here, in the episode "B.A.E. Pause of an Era": http://sewersirenspodcast.podbean.com). We agreed whoever lost the competition would have to eat a pizza that the winner makes. In a world filled with ghost peppers and cooked cats, the thought of losing was extremely disturbing.
David ended up losing the competition. However, it wasn't for lack of trying. It was the lack of competing. For that reason, I decided to go a little harder on him.
To prepare, I had to think of things that would phase David. David is a daring man who has eaten many things in his life, so I wanted to make sure to feed him something he wouldn't soon forget. A night before I would see him, I figured it was finally time to make him eat the pizza he deserved. So, only using homemade ingredients, without rushing to the store, I whipped something together.
Vinegar, Amasai, and Miracle Whip
Since David has eaten so many crazy things, putting only weird ingredients wouldn't make much of a difference. Of course, I started it out that way, with some drops of vinegar, and a squirt of mayo. But the kicker was a thick, sour organic drink called "Amasai", something I knew David has never had before.
Add a little relish and dressing
Perfecto
In addition to those nasty things, I added a dab of western dressing and sweet ole' relish. This would make a superb pizza sauce, if I do say so myself.
"Mix it all together and you know you got the best of both worlds"
And instead of the traditional cheese that people around the world seem to enjoy on pizzas, I picked a more ... "healthy" approach. Which also means a little more foul-smelling and gross-tasting cheese.
So the next morning, with products prepared, I woke up and got ready to make David's tasty pizza.
STEP 1: As the base, I used a flattened piece of a waffle (that I had made the previous night). After toasting it for a little to give it the hardened surface, I poured some of that lovely sauce on top of it. And, to give some conflicting texture, I put few mini chocolate chips on for good measure.
Left = STEP 3, upper right = STEP 1, lower right = STEP 2
STEP 2: On top of the sauce I sprinkled some dill, then topped the pizza with the raw organic cheddar cheese.
STEP 3: Top the pizza with seedy omega wafers and the disgusting candy corn flavored M&Ms, drizzle a little more sauce on the whole thing, and you are good to go!
Heat your oven to 425 degrees, and put it in for a few minutes. The end result? A putrid, horrible smelling pizza that you have created for a good friend to eat.
Toppings
I put the pizza in tupperware and waited to see David, while the pizza got cold and (even more) smelly. Eight hours after the pizza was placed in the oven, David finally got what he deserved.
LEFT: Walker and David seeing pizza for the first time RIGHT: David after first bite
Once he heard the news (that I had the pizza), he prepared himself to eat it. We sat down at a table, with our friends Walker and Brady, anticipating the pizza being eaten. As the lid was taken off, the smell steamed out. David wore his poker face, but Walker? Not so much. "Ewww!" he said. "Aww, it stinks!"
"Would you like to tell what's on here?" David asked before he dived in. I decided it would be better if he didn't know what it was until after. He would dive in without knowing what awaited him.
David smelled it, was taken aback by the disgusting smells, and then mentally prepared himself for his first bite. 'How bad could it be', his face seemed to say right before he took a chomp into it. After he took his first bite, he gestured as if it wasn't so bad. At this moment, I was kind of worried. Is my disgusting creation not disgusting enough for the David taste buds?
LEFT: David's second bite RIGHT: David biting off a little more than he could chew (see his right cheek)
As David chewed his first bite, another guy came over (Wendell) and noticed the Omega chips on top of the pizza. "I know what those chips are. Those are disgusting." Wendell said with a laugh. "Those chips are horrible."
David then took another bite, but he got a little cocky, and bit off a little more than he could chew.
He rocked himself, focusing more on the music than the pizza as he slowly ate it. And then BAM! He almost throws up! He gags on the pizza, but manages to still keep eating it.
David gags on his second bite
"Did you see him gag?" Wendell asked. But before anyone could answer, David asked, "Wait. Hold on. Is everything on this edible?" I confirmed it was. "Okay, I just wanted to make sure you weren't putting on ... dog poop or something." As David took his third bite, Brady's reaction to it was priceless. He closed his eyes and probably thought of how disgusting this must be (an expression hard to capture in a picture). After intensely eating the third bite, he shakes off the grossness and continues. The struggle is real.
David's third bite, and Brady doing the ultimate cringe FAR LEFT: "Wait. Hold on."
LEFT: David shaking off the taste RIGHT: David smiling through the pain
Pizza Cheers
He bit into the fourth bite, chewing it super fast to try to get rid of it. "You're trying, like, so hard to not gag." Brady says to David, but David doesn't respond. He's focused. "What are your thoughts so far?" I ask him as he gets ready for his fifth bite. "It's nasty. I mean, it's not the worst thing I've ever eaten." He said, but then reevaluates what he just stated. "Actually, it probably is. But I like the chips, thought. It downs the flavor of everything else a lot." Brady's solution? Take off the chips! But it doesn't happen, as David takes his next bite.
It's ... GONE!
David takes his sixth bite, and prepares for his seventh. He raises what's left of the pizza into the air, as he signifies that victory is in sight, and then eats it. After chewing it (and swallowing), he opens his mouth to show, he, in fact...
ATE THE PIZZA!
MIDDLE: "He was, like, almost crying" RIGHT: Brady feels heartfelt for David
As soon as he's done, he walks over to the water fountains to get a well deserved drink. As he does, I interview Brady and Walker. "He was trying so hard to look pro, and not show ... gag or feelings. But deep inside, he was dying. I can see the reflection of him in the mirror [as he goes into the bathroom] right now; he was, like, almost crying."
"Note to self: never lose a bet"
Then I turned to Walker. "I only smelled it. And it smelled disgusting. Note to self: never lose a bet." Very true words, Walker!
Once David returned, we asked him how it was. "It was ... pretty bad. But you just gotta follow your dreams." When asked how bad it was on a scale of 1 to 10, one being amazing and one being ... well, let's not go there, he said, "Seven." What number is throwing up? "Ten", he answered.
LEFT: David gurgling water RIGHT: David's reaction to being done
That seven soon became a ten when, later that night, David would throw up. My mission was accomplished, I had created something so utterly disgusting, just using things from my house, without making an explosive chemical reaction. Brady would end up calling this pizza "The Demon Pizza". David ate the pizza like a champ, and handled it like a pro (even though he gagged), so for that, you should follow him on Twitter and Instagram at @Xyro101 (okay, it's the least I can do for the guy, he threw up).
Before I told him what was in it, here were his guesses:
Weird Type of Cheese (correct)
Mustard (nope)
M&Ms (he [basically] got that right [since it was a different flavor)
Mayo as a Pizza Sauce (ding ding ding [kinda sorta])
Peanut butter (way off)
And, before I close, let's talk about the thing people really care about when they're reading this.
The GAG COUNT!
Gag Count: bite two, five, six, and seven!
Total Gags: FOUR! [plus an eventual fifth where he went all out]
Gag 2# (Bite Five)
Gag 3# (Bite Six)
Gag 4# (Bite Seven)
So there you have it, TMNT fans and people-who-just-like-watching-others-suffer-fans! I hope you enjoyed this article. If you did, share it with a friend or check out our podcast (if you haven't already).
Thanks for reading!
Grady
Sewer Sirens Podcast
P.S. This article is how I view the things that went down, David may have a totally different view.
There's been lots of recent activity regarding the Michael Bay produced and Jonathan Liebesman directed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. The teaser trailer has been released, and the reaction has been both negative and positive. There are people who are pumped for this movie. There are people who are staying optimistic until they see more. And then there are other people who absolutely hate what has been done and what this movie has to offer.
Today, in this blog post, we'll talk about if there's a good reason for totally being upset . . . or if we're just whining for the sake of whining. I, for one, am excited for this movie. Sure, the people behind this movie may not have the best track record. And, sure, we may not get the best movie in the whole wide world.
But these are the turtles. And I love the turtles. So the question here today is: Are the turtles in this movie the turtles we all know and love? Are they staying true to what has happened in the past? Or are these turtles WAY off base from anything we've ever seen?
I'll talk about all the controversial subjects along the way, so please join me for the ride.
April O'Neil and the Sex Appeal (A Megan Fox Story)
Let's start out with this controversial subject. Hmm.
When it was first announced Megan Fox would play April O'Neil, I was super disappointed. As Peter Laird has said, "I think it's safe to say that there are probably hundreds of better choices for the role". Amen to that, Peter.
April O'Neil isn't meant to be a sex icon, but that's basically all Megan Fox is known for. Her acting chops haven't been the best in previous films. The only reason she gets those parts are for her looks and sex appeal. It's to bring men into the audience to have something to lust over. That's not who April O'Neil is. April O'Neil doesn't care about looking 'sexy' or 'hot'. Her goal isn't to draw in the men. She would rather just hang out with some mutant turtles.
Don't believe me, that April doesn't exactly care about her looks? Check out the beginning of this episode:
Those were my thoughts when I heard she was originally cast. But then set pictures released, and I saw (from what we could see, at least) that it wasn't blatantly obvious that they were using April as a tool to get men in the theaters. She wore modest clothing (instead of the clothes she wore in Transformers), and that started giving me a little hope. (Except that trampoline scene is obviously in there for certain reasons.)
From set pictures, it looked like April was a true reporter. And since the movie has a lot of inspirations from the 1987 cartoon, that's pretty cool. But, still, I would've much had someone else as April. (There were at least three other actresses up for the part: Anna Kendrick, Elizabeth Olsen, and Jane Levy. I would've LOVED if Jane Levy played April, since I had already thought of her to play that part before this information was released. She just strikes me as April.) But, if they are going to take that blatant sex appeal away and focus more on personality and character, than I'm going to be more excited to see Megan Fox as April, if I would have preferred a different actress.
Then the teaser was released. There was nothing that raged a passionate fire full of hate inside of my soul regarding Megan Fox in it, and I thought she was fine.
Also, recently, an EW interview with Megan Fox was released about TMNT. When I read it, my spirits lifted about April in this movie a few notches. Here's why:
1.) She's a big fan of TMNT. Sure, we already knew that, but it's awesome to see a fan of the franchise jump in as a role. Alan Ritchinson (Raph) doesn't care at all for the source material, but here we have Megan Fox, who is a fan of it. That's cool, and hopefully it inspirers her to strive to doing well at her role.
2.) "She's more of a leader when she explores her relationship with the turtles instead of just the human companion that gets dragged along on the adventure." This is something great, and something the 1987 show kind of fell flat on. April, episode after episode, usually got in the way and was used as a plot device (damsel in distress). She was bold and confident, but wasn't THAT important to the particular situation in certain episodes. But if, in this movie, April is actually important to the story (the April we all know and love) and isn't used as a plot device to move the story along, that's really cool. And I'm excited to see that.
3.) Also, Megan Fox is "completely clothed the entire movie...Jonathan" [Liebesman, the director] "was really insistent on not wanting her" [April] "to be sexualized or to take that sort of typical role we've seen women take in movies thus far, and that I've" [Megan Fox] "taken in particular." That is super awesome, and broadens my hope on a characterized interpretation of April.
I think we should give Megan Fox a chance. Is she the best actress? Nope. But let's hope she's learned some things in her career and brings her 'A game' to the movie.
Boom! Pow! Whoosh! (A Michael Bay Story)
Transformers? Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen? Transformers: Dark of the Moon? Meat Loaf: Bat Out of Hell II? Yes, these are all on Michael Bay's resume. And let me tell you, a lot of people ... really don't like his work. Why is that? Well, regarding the Transformers movies, which are the best to compare to this TMNT movie (sorry Meat Loaf), it's a few things. His main characters are the humans, not the creatures/objects the movie was named after. The numerous explosions. The subpar plot.
But will this TMNT movie have the same problems as Transformers? And are some of these subjects even problems? That's what I'm going to talk about in this section.
Let's address 'the movie focusing on the humans more than the turtles'. Actually, I don't have a problem with this. Blasphemy, you say? Well, you didn't let me finish. I don't have a problem with this IF DONE RIGHT. There's so many different stories in the TMNT universe regarding humans, and that's awesome (especially April and Casey, but we'll just focus on April since she's the only one in this movie). If the main reason they want the humans to guide the story (starts out with April, who then discovers the turtles) rather than the turtles guiding the story (starts out with the turtles, who then discover humans) is to help the audience member relate to the story, I'm fine with that. And it's a cool different take on it. It follows April's journey, how she is before she meets these mutant turtles and then after.
However, there can be the problem of the humans taking too much screen time away from the turtles. It is a turtles movie, and having us see the discovery of the turtles through April's eyes shouldn't take away from the experience of this being a turtles movie. Also, the humans (April and Vernon) shouldn't be TOO important. I said when I was discussing April in the category above that it'd be nice to have her be more important. But we shouldn't have her (or Vernon) be TOO important.
What do I mean by that? In the original 'Blue Door' script (which I'm about to read soon, and for those of you who don't know, this is the original script for the movie, where the turtles are aliens from a turtle race and the movie is very focused on Casey and April), April and Casey are the ones who defeat Shredder. Not the turtles. That's TOO important. That takes away from the experience of it being a turtles movie. The humans (Vernon and April) aren't meant to be that important. Yes, they can help out in the fight. But they shouldn't be defeating the enemies. See what I mean?
So I have no problem with April guiding the story, as long as it doesn't go too far.
Next is the EXPLOSIONS. This is one subject everyone likes to talk about in Michael Bay films. And I totally get it. Have you seen the SuperBowl trailer for Transformers 4? Bunch of explosions, you can't even count them! (Okay, I may be exaggerating a little.)
But here's the real question: Are explosions necessarily a bad thing?
My answer: No. It all depends on the way you use them. The explosions have to make sense in the story that you're telling. They shouldn't just be there for the sake of being there. If an explosion is relevant to what's going on, I'm definitely fine with it. (But that doesn't mean you have to go overkill.) As long as they do this, I think it'll be fine. (And there weren't any outlandish explosions in the TMNT teaser we got [like the SuperBowl trailer for Transformers 4].)
Plus, there's been NUMEROUS explosions throughout the Ninja Turtles franchise.
Don't believe me?
And that's only from three Mirage issues, two 2003 episodes, one 1987 episode, and one Nickelodeon episode.
Next is the 'subpar plot' that I've heard people complain about Michael Bay's Transformers movies. (I have to admit right here, I haven't seen one single Transformer movie yet, so I'm not going to say I have an opinion on it and accuse it of something when I haven't seen it at all, so this is based off of what others have said.) A lot of that has to do with the writers, but guess what? Michael Bay gives the go on the script. He, from what I've seen, also gives a lot of input into the things he makes. He doesn't just direct a film, he makes his mark on the visual AND the story.
But that's when he's directing. Michael Bay is PRODUCING this movie. And keep in mind the wheels of TMNT were being set in motion as the wheels of Transformers 4 was also being set in motion, which Michael Bay is DIRECTING. Which movie do you think Michael Bay is going to be more focused on? His baby, Transformers.
I really don't think that Michael Bay was waist deep in this film, giving his input and changing things up. I think he gave his blessing, some tips and advice (I'm sure he changed some things too ['bigger and better', more on that later]), and left this TMNT movie to others while he was occupied on Transformers. That means we have to trust the writers of this film and Jonathan Liebesman. But are they really a step up from Michael Bay?
Shaky Cameras, Awkward Close-ups, and Repetitive Praise (A TMNT Crew Story)
Jonathan Liebesman, the director of Battle Los Angeles, is directing the new TMNT movie. Josh Applebaum and Andre Nemec, the writers of the alien-based TMNT 'Blue Door' script, are still on board writing this movie. How is this good?
Looking back into the past, it really isn't.
Let's just hope Jonathan Liebesman has learned from mistakes he's made in the past, and brings his 'A game' (just like Megan Fox) to the film. From what I've heard, Jonathan seems to be a fan of the turtles, which is good. And the teaser we were given didn't display anything that I thought was cringe-worthy (except those two fast, awkward zoom in/close ups into April, and later April and Vernon), so his directing in this may be just fine. The cinematography really doesn't look bad (so far), and that's good. Not witnessing much shaky camera either (which has been a problem with his previous films [or so I've heard]), so I'm holding out hope, and that's what I suggest you do too. Jonathan has yet to prove himself as a great director, so hopefully he steps it up this film and shows us how talented he really is (and let's hope he's insanely talented). I may seem harsh on Jonathan, and I admit I haven't seen any of his movies, but I'm basing my opinion on what others around me have said. (Don't try that at home, kids.)
Now let's address Josh and Andre, the writers of this screenplay. First of all, they've done EVERYTHING together. IMDb shows the exact same things on their resumes. Which is really weird. Hopefully they've already learned each others strengths and weaknesses, and they work as a productive team. Their most substantial achievement is writing the screenplay for Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol, which has a 7.4 score on IMDb.
However, later in the process of writing the screenplay, a more noteworthy writer joined the project: Evan Daugherty (who wrote the screenplays of Divergent, Killing Season, and Snow White and the Huntsman). Let's hope he added a cool mix to the film. His more professional resume alone gives hope that he gave TMNT a little spice, even if his movies haven't gotten praised with repetition.
Recently, there was an interview with Andre about the script, and ultimately, the movie. It's a HUGE interview, but what did we discover? Actually, about absolutely nothing. Andre avoids and snakes around most questions, but something he really touches on is the characters. Who they are and how they act.
And what we find is that they are staying true to the source material. Each turtle sounds like himself. They still have their personality, their character. April is still the same girl (personality, anyway) as the 1987 show's determined reporter.
The turtles personalities are a key element to any TMNT story. Take it away, and it doesn't feel the same. There can be an intriguing story, a cool setting, a stunning visual. But do you know what we really all fell in love with when we first discovered the turtles? It's the characters themselves. Who they are, how they act, what they do. It would've never been the same without them if you would just take that away.
So this story may be very different, but if it has the same turtles that we love in other incarnations, shouldn't we give it a chance? We may be very surprised at what we see, and see that these turtles DO fit in the story this movie is trying to tell.
But the question is if this truly is a movie that fits into what we all know and love.
So let's address the origin and plot, and see if this movie has more than just the same characters and personalities we enjoy seeing.
The [Deceptive?] Origin (A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Story)
"Heroes aren't born . . . they're created."
So it looks like in this movie version of the turtles, the turtles are created. Not caused by an accident. Some people think the trailer implies that Shredder is the one who creates the turtles (which I kind of got that feeling too). Also, Shredder created the turtles with April's father. Some people even go as far to say that April's father will be Splinter.
Now, trailers can be deceiving and misleading. Bunch of cuts and voice overs are thrown together, making us draw conclusions that may or may not be true. Don't exactly understand what I'm saying? Let's give the example of Eric Sachs telling April "that's what your father and I were trying to do" after a long monologue from Sachs. The teaser makes you BELIEVE Sachs is talking to April (which may very well be true). But why do we assume this? We were shown April in that room, and then Eric and April in the room, and now we have a close up of Sachs saying this. It's obviously the same scene, right? Wrong. Trailers can be tricky like that. For all we know, Eric Sachs saying "that's what your father and I were trying to do" may be a whole different scene! And totally separate from the whole speech he gave in the voice overs! It doesn't show April in the same frame as he says his line, and in the way the trailer was done, we don't know 100% that's the same scene.
Long story short, it's hard to conclude a lot of evidence from teaser trailers like these. When they jump around, showing different things as people say certain things, we assume things without certainly knowing them. We're left guessing, or left assuming (and, don't get me wrong, those assumptions may be right. Sometimes studios don't try to mislead us at all. But sometimes they do.).
So when I talk about these turtles 'origin' and what will be in this movie, I am basing it off of the assumptions the trailers made me and millions of others believe. Once we get more trailers and eventually the film, we will know if the teaser led us down a path of truth or of Hollywood deception.
The trailer leads us to believe that the turtles are created. Created by Shredder. Now is this a bad thing? A good thing? I think it's all up to personal preference, but I'm going to give mine. We've seen the turtles accidentally created over and over. Now, that's not a bad thing. But this movie is trying to set itself apart to be different. When we go into this movie, we need to realize that there will be change. And I suggest being open to change ... depending on the change that is made.
Not all change is a good thing. Turtles as aliens? Now that's too far. That changes who the Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles are. But changing the turtles creation from accidental to purposeful? It could be good, if done right. We already know what happens when the turtles are accidentally created. We already have a movie like that. They want to explore a new option, a new scenario, and if the Shredder creates the turtles, I'm fine with that. It begs the question WHY? Why does the evil Shredder create hero turtles?
Good question. The teaser actually seems to sell him more as a good guy. That throws a lot of people off. Except, think about it. Eric Sachs (the public 'savior' of the town, who acts all good and has influences on everything everywhere) is talking to April O'Neil (a reporter who will report anything he says) about the hero turtles he made with her father (which it sounds like he made them to save the city). Would this menace uncover his 'wolf in sheep's clothing' scam by displaying his true motives to a reporter? No. He's full of lies in this trailer, and that's a trait from Shredder that is very iconic. (It's very iconic in almost any baddie.)
Some people are disappointed that April's father was involved in the making of the turtles. "Everything has to be connected nowadays", they say. But this movie isn't the first turtles incarnation to connect April to the turtles in some other way than just a friend. In the IDW comics, April's father helped make the ooze/mutagen that made the turtles who they are today. April's father was connected to the origins of the turtles, and supposedly so is April's father in this movie. And even April was working alongside the turtles before they were mutated.
"April's dad is Splinter!" people say (another stretched assumption). The trailer didn't show Splinter. So where is he? If the turtles were created by Shredder, where did Splinter come from? How does he fit into the story? Does he help create the turtles because he thinks they'll be used for good, but finds out that Eric Sachs actually wants to use them as pawns for his plans, and accidentally or purposely mutates himself and trains the turtles up in the good ways of martial arts, so they won't ever be used for Shredder?
If this large assumption turns out to be true, I don't know what to think. It's definitely a change that could ... grow on me. Or maybe not. I don't know. It all depends on how it's done. But how does April's dad know martial arts? How is he mutated? Why is he trying to help or train the turtles? I would definitely agree with the complaint that everything is TOO connected nowadays regarding this subject. It's changing the story just to make things tie up better into a little bow. I don't really want to see Splinter as April's father, but depending on how they go about it, it may surprise me. It may be good. However, this is a huge assumption, and is probably way off base.
We've seen bits and pieces of the turtles origins, but we haven't seen the big picture yet. Before jumping to outlandish conclusions, we should wait for more details in future trailers, set pictures, clips, and interviews. And if our assumptions are correct? I, personally, don't think these changes are half bad (well, maybe the Splinter one), and am excited to see the direction they take. We're not getting aliens (or are we?), so we need to chill out and not judge the movie just because of a grudge against the people behind it or things that have happened in the past that don't attain to the here and now.
The Size, The Clothes, The Look
In this movie, we have a very big departure from the turtles we all know visually. In almost every version of the turtles, the turtles are short and they're kind of cute. That's not this movie. Now we have huge, bulky turtles who wear clothes (or at least loin cloths) and are...less cute. I can't tell you these designs are good, that's something you have to decide for yourself. But what I can do is show you this has been done before.
First up, the clothing argument. Leo will be wearing armor (along with a loin cloth), Don wearing some tech on his back (along with some other coverings, including a loin cloth), Raph wearing a traditional loin cloth (and that's pretty much it), and Mikey wears a sweatshirt around his waist. When I heard about the turtles wearing clothing (especially loin cloths, which means...there will probably be some Michael Bay joke), I wasn't that happy (surprisingly, the armor ticked me off the most. Why does a turtle need armor?). But looking back in the past, I've realized this has been done before.
Also, we have HUGE turtles. And some people like to say they're ugly. This, also, has been explored before.
It's definitely happened before. TMNT has gone through different fazes and different interpretations. Michael Bay wants bigger and better. And even though I would prefer the turtles being small and stealthy (since that's what ninjas are), I'll step back and accept this movie for what it is. This is a different take on the turtles, and it should be interesting to see where they go with it. It's a different take, and I'm open to this, and excited to see how the 'ninja' aspect is included in this movie.
Looks can easily be accepted if we are open to them. Their looks aren't THAT big of an issue. They're mutated turtles. Don't you think they would be somewhat ugly? And if you truly don't like it, that's fine. But this movie hasn't "raped your childhood". The making of a new movie doesn't change anything that has been done in the past. Those shows and comics are still there, and this movie hasn't changed the appeal you had to that show in the first place. So everyone needs to settle down. Don't like it? Don't watch it. It's as simple as that, but if you know someone who's excited for the film, don't try to drag their hopes down with you. Let them make up their minds for themselves.
The White Shredder Situation (The Whitewash)
The original Shredder, in the Mirage days, was a Japanese boy who grew up to avenge the death of his brother, who was killed by Hamato Yoshi. In the 1987 toon, Shredder was the one who was always trying to achieve more than his Japenese competition in his clan, Hamato Yoshi. In the 2003 cartoon, he ended up as an alien Utrom, out for revenge against his race, who could care less about the insignificant turtles and rat who set out against him.
There have definitely been different versions of the Shredder. From bumbling idiot to determined assassin, he has always been Shredder. He's gone through so many changes, and yet, people still love him. And why? Cause deep down, he is set out to destroy the turtles.
I, too, am disappointed about how they took out the whole japan story (or did they?) and totally whitewashed Shredder, along with his loyal clan. But we all have to remember, this is a different take on the turtles. This isn't a remake, it's a reboot.
I'm up for seeing a new take on Shredder, as long as, ultimately, it's the same character we know and love. There has to be a reason that Shredder puts on that Japanese armor, why these Foot are called a 'clan', why this white dude knows how to perform martial arts.
And let's think about this for a moment. I'm no Japan expert, but are there really ninja clans in Japan? Ninja clans that rise up, move to New York City, and try to wreak havoc? Just think on that for a moment.
I'm really hoping this movie brings something new and interesting to the table, in this Shredder area. There's been rumors that, in this film, Shredder will be an Utrom (or, he'll be Krang). As a big fan of the 2003 series, I'm totally excited for that (if true). It'll be awesome to see on the big screen. (Actually, people have possibly spotted an Utrom/Krang in the trailer. But more on that next Sewer Sirens Podcast episode.)
The Mysterious Plot
"The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick to save the city and unravel Shredder's diabolical plot."
That is the official synopsis of this TMNT movie ... and let me say, it's very bland. I'm sure a more detailed description will come out later.
But this, and the teaser, is all we have to go on regarding what this movie will be about. And that's not much. (And, remember, we have a lot of assumptions.) Let's talk about a few things that this movie has for us that we didn't really cover.
Shredder / Eric Sachs has his control over the city. Now, I've always liked this route, where the villain has control and influence over everyone, and everybody thinks that he is legitimately good. For those of you who don't know, Oroku Saki had control over NYC in the 2003 series, season three.
So why does he create mutant turtles? Maybe he has stated to the public he wants to use them for good. To clean up the city. But in reality, he has his own plans. Then the turtles went rogue, and they're 'bad', and now he has to recover what he has lost. Or maybe he kept the experiment under wraps the whole time, and once evidence of the experiment leaked, he covered it up with lies. Or maybe he doesn't take credit for it at all.
Also, there's the Foot Clan. And they look a lot more like military guys then ninjas. They have weird masks and outfits, and it should be interesting to find out more about them. But for the people disappointed with this 'departure from source material', saying that the Foot Clan is 100% ninja, I have something to show you.
This is from the 'Return to New York' arc in the Mirage comics, written by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman themselves. The ninjas used guns, even though their ninjas. This is also what the new film's Foot Clan uses.
There's a lot of stuff we don't know about this film yet. How does Baxter fit into the picture? How does Karai? How does the Foot Clan? How does Splinter? We haven't even seen any of them yet. And regarding the people we have seen, we still don't even have a lot of answers. How does April fit into the picture? How does Shredder? How does the turtles? This movie has a lot more surprises and exciting elements to it, and I'm excited to see how they flesh them all out. This movie has potential, and it's not blasphemous (not that we know, anyway).
I'm thrilled to see it, and I hope you are too.
Be sure to check out our podcast on iTunes! We talk about all things TMNT, including movie news. Subscribe! (And a flattering five star rate and review would be nice too.) You can find our site, twitter, and more on our contact page.
Hope you enjoyed this post. Let me know if this is something you'd like to see more of.
In episode seven of Sewer Sirens Podcast (I Like Turtles News), we discussed how Paramount will give the public it's official first look at the Michael Bay produced movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This moment has now arrived, and TMNT fans are on the edge of their seat.
I, Grady, am sitting at computer, trying to shoot out to all of you guys news as quickly as possible. If you want to get the news FASTEST, follow us on twitter: @SewerSirens.
But here on this blog, I will be giving LIVE updates on my thoughts of the news we kick out. So once you see us tweet out something on Twitter, you can just check back here at this blog for my thoughts (once I furiously type them out, that is).
NOTE: I am going to go into small detail of what I think about these pieces of news. David and I will fully discuss our thoughts in our next movie news episode.
So let's do a small recap. Last night, we saw our look at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles logo. This is nothing new, we've seen this all before. But the cool thing about them is that Paramount is actually SHOWING OFF their product.
(Also tonight, we got these)
I'm not sure if I like this one better or the one we saw on set. At first, I liked the one on set. But this new one is growing on me.
Then, just a little while ago, we got our first (official?) picture from the movie. (I've heard people say this is from the teaser trailer, but I'm not sure.) It includes Megan Fox and Will Arnett (April and Vernon) looking past the camera at somebody/something in horror.
This kind of confirmed a little fear of mine. With Liebesman directing, I was really worried about this shaky camera and awkward close up business. This added to this fear. There will probably be more on this later.
But Paramount is about to start their presentation, so stay tuned for news.
UPDATE: 9:20 P.M.
I've been gathering this information from Twitter, as people write in about their experience and what they are seeing at CinemaCon.
Will Arnett and David Cross enter stage to introduce TMNT. (Why is David Cross there??)
UPDATE: 9:24 P.M.
Quotes from people there:
"First trailer for 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' debuts at CinemaCon. ....hmm...Transformers with a shell?"
"...and TMNT (looks...ok)"
Man, not so many great things being said so far.
UPDATE: 9:30 P.M.
Hey, I just want to add, looking at this April and Vernon picture again, that maybe the reason for the weird angle is that one of them is holding a camera . . . that would make me feel better.
More info, looks like a twitter account 'Superhero Report' is excited after this trailer (they also say that details and a leak should come soon). Yeah, let's hope. I'm dying for a teaser right about now. Anything.
UPDATE: 9:43 P.M.
What is in the teaser trailer? We've heard (SPOILERS) that Megan Fox faints at the end of the trailer. "Can we say 'anticlimactic???'"
UPDATE: 9:49 P.M.
"First teaser trailer of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is really short but you get a great look at the turtles. They look like turtles." And then he says "It's clear Paramount doesn't have much finished footage which is why teaser is short. But they look like I expected them to look." Then... "my guess is the TMNT teaser will be online really soon"
"Fricken. Teenage. Mutant. Ninja. Turtles. First look was BLEEPa awesome"
UPDATE: 9:57 P.M.
IMDB Live says: "'Ninja Turtles': Not as impressed with this trailer, though the little footage there is of the turtles looks right"
This is what Hollywood Reporter has to say: "Will Arnett took the stage next, via Segway. He introduced the world
premiere of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. "Heroes are not born --
they're created," says the voiceover in the trailer, which showed the
CG-created heroes in a half-shell (who are very, very large) sliding down
snow-covered mountains and trying not to scare off April (Megan Fox)." UPDATE: 10:02 P.M.
"TMNT trailer has a long voiceover that includes "Heroes are not born -- they're created"" (Is this Leonardo talking? Sounds like him.)
"TMNT teaser details: "A lot of action. On the subway, in the snow-covered mountains. The turtles are huge, much bigger than humans." (...much bigger than humans? Really? Of course, we already knew this, but the confirmation stinks. Michael Bay think bigger = better)
But I'm still super pumped to see this trailer (and movie).
UPDATE: 10:10 P.M.
"Excited by what we saw on #TMNT..."
SCRATCH THAT COMMENT EARLIER! "'Heroes aren't born, they're made.' -- William Fichtner (Shredder) in 'Turtles' trailer implying he had a hand in creating them" (I'll love me some Shredder dialogue!)
UPDATE: 10:20 P.M.
"The new Ninja Turtles are not what I was expecting" Eric from IGN (Except that doesn't really help us get a visual since we don't know exactly what he was expecting...)
Also, here's an interesting tweet. Someone asked Rebecca Ford, who attended this event "Are the Turtles still going to be aliens?"
She replies "No. Looks like they were created by man?" Wait. What? I'm sure she's implying that Shredder INFLUENCED their creation (see above)...but does she mean something more by that?
UPDATE: 10:24 P.M.
Variety posted about CinemaCon. Here's what they had to say about TMNT: "In addition to “Transformers,” Bay is producing “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” which is based more on the comic book than the children’s TV series and posits the green amphibians as a gang of superheroes, with Megan Fox as the damsel in distress.
“It’s a daunting task given how rabid the fanbase is,” said Will Arnett, who stars as Vernon Fenwick and arrived via Segway onstage along with comedian David Cross. Arnett also pointed out that the Ninja Turtles have been the No. 1 action figure for the last six straight years."
Also, I just read what Hollywood Reporter had to say (earlier in the post), and they did say Shredder had that voiceover. I was just on a roll and copied and pasted without reading.
UPDATE: 10:30 P.M.
Bad*** Digest was at CinemaCon, and here's what they have to say:
"I'm at CinemaCon, the theater owner trade show in Las Vegas, and Paramount just revealed the first look at the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - which revealed that April O'Neil's dad helped create the turtles.
Seriously.
At first the trailer hides the turtles - there's voice over from William Fichtner's Shredder explaining the city has gone to shit. We see criminals with automatic weapons and buildings exploding and maybe - just maybe! - it seems like this could be a Hobo With A Shotgun version of a city in decline.
It turns out that this version of Shredder hates that crime and violence, and so he started a program to create heroes. That's juxtaposed with TCRI ooze canisters and experiments. You know, the ooze that created the turtles. The ooze that Shredder made... with April's dad. Yes, the VO is Shredder telling April he and her dad made the turtles.
There's flash footage of the Turtles fighting guys in the subway and April films on her phone. Then the turtles are revealed... and they're kind of bad? Meredith Woerner of io9 was sitting next to me and said they looked like babies with penis heads, and she's right. They're not turtle-y enough and they're not anthropomorphized enough. They're a terrible middle ground.
They do crack wise, though. We see the turtles sliding down a mountain and one yells "Batter up!" and is thrown into a Hummer, shell first, crushing the door of the vehicle.
I imagine this will hit the web soon and you'll get to make up your own mind."
Wow, I...I really don't know what to think.
UPDATE: 10:46 P.M.
"Also the new TMNT looks great and I might actually see it"
"Trailer for the film, which was big on action and light on the tongue-in-mouth playfulness from previous iterations" (I'm glad that even though this is more of a serious take on the turtles, we still have some humor [only time will tell if that's GOOD humor)
"People at CinemaCon have seen a trailer for TMNT. Apparently, their new origin story is ripped-off ... from 'AMAZING SPIDER-MAN.'" Whoa whoa whoa. What Bad*** Digest had to say about the teaser doesn't sound ripped off of Spiderman to me. I'm not the BIGGEST fan of Spiderman ever, but I know a good amount of things about Spiderman comics. (First, I'm a TMNT fan. Second, I'm a Spiderman fan. Collect and get excited over both.)
But I really don't understand WHY someone may think this is a rip off of Spiderman. Because they're a lab experiment? Hate to break it to you dude, but that really isn't a rip off of Spiderman. (If anyone knows why this person thinks this is a rip off of Spiderman, comment here on this blog or email us at: SewerSirensPodcast@hotmail.com)
UPDATE: 11:19 P.M.
BREAKING: Steven Weintraub, the editor-in-chief of Collider who attended CinemaCon, has stated on twitter the teaser trailer will be online Thursday morning. Oh yeah!!
Anyway, here's another statement made on Twitter. Not sure if this certain guy saying this actually SAW the trailer, but... "I love that the TMNT clip they chose for CinemaCon is the most likely to infuriate fan boys, also explains concept to clueless exhibitors"
Here is a detailed description of the teaser, from Cinema Blend (not reading it, though, because I don't really want to know in full detail what happens):
"For
the first time since 1993, the Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles are making their return to the big screen in
live action this summer. Produced by Michael Bay and directed by Jonathan
Liebesman, the new movie promises to reintroduce the classic characters to a
new generation, replacing foam rubber suits with fancy performance-capture
technology. We have been patiently waiting for our first look at the new
version of the turtles for months now, and tonight we finally got our first
peek, as the premiere trailer was debuted during the Paramount Pictures
presentation at CinemaCon.
The trailer
begins with a camera soaring through skyscrapers and a voice over from Shredder
(William Fichtner).
He talks about how the city has become overrun with “crime, violence and fear,”
and how a once great city has been destroyed. We see shots of a tower on top of
a skyscraper come crashing down and hooligans wearing masks firing off guns.
Shredder talks about justice being restored and the need for heroes.
Down in a
subway we see flashes of action as criminals are getting their asses handed to
them by the turtles, though they are moving too fast for us to get a good look
at them. April O’Neil (Megan Fox) is on the scene and we see her recording the
action on her phone. The voice-over continues, but there are also flashes of
Shredder out of costume talking with April, and shots of the legendary ooze
that will eventually transform the titular heroes. Shredder then drops the
biggest bomb of all and perhaps the movie’s biggest change in TMNT mythos:
knowing that heroes are not born but rather created, Shredder actually worked
with April’s dad to create the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
The next
shot has one of turtles (I couldn’t see the color of the mask) skiing down a
mountain on his shell before slamming into a parked SUV and getting stuck to
the side upside down (for comedic effect). The scene then switches to a rooftop
where April is standing and is shocked when Leonardo (Pete Ploszek) jumps down
and lands from seemingly out of nowhere. She turns around as though to run, but
comes face to face with Michelangelo (Noel Fisher). The turtle quickly tries to
calm her down by telling her that there is nothing to freak out about and that
“it’s just a mask.” He removes his disguise to reveal his face, and April
faints.
Outside of
the change in the origin story, the biggest reveal was the look of the turtles
themselves. While the bodies looked fine, the thing that gives me pause is the
look of their heads. While it’s obviously a challenge to find some kind of
middle-point between real life turtles and humans, the design seems to be stuck
in a weird middle point where it just looks a bit off. In addition to being out
of proportion with their bodies, they are also a bit weirdly shaped and look…
off.
So when will
you be able to see this trailer for yourself? As we reported late last month,
the preview will be making its theatrical debut in front of Captain America:
The Winter Soldier next month, but stay tuned in the next
two weeks for it to arrive online and get ready for Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles in theaters on August 8th. "
Well, I'm wrapping this up for the night. Been sitting here for awhile at the computer, and I hope you guys found this helpful. I may give some more updates here tomorrow, but be sure to follow us on Twitter (@SewerSirens). We'll definitely tweet out important news that may surface tomorrow.
Tonight, in closing, I'll give my thoughts of what has been released tonight. First of all, tonight really is getting me more excited for this film. I'm filled with nostalgia. Do I expect this to be the best film ever? No. Is this the most ideal film I want? I don't think so. But do I think it's good?
I think that it has potential. We didn't hear utterly horrible things from the trailer tonight (granted, no one exactly saw much). But no one was bashing what they had seen. We heard people were excited, and people were more 'eh'.
We actually did hear some negative things regarding the visuals, but there were also people saying they really liked it. So we will have to judge for ourselves.
This is a film I'm looking forward to and will definitely see in theaters. But right now, I'm partially torn and partially pumped. And that, in itself, is a weird feeling.
Oh, also, one other thing. I contacted a girl who attended CinemaCon, and asked her a question, which she replied to.
"Also the new TMNT looks great and I might actually see it" she said.
I replied "Can you tell us something you really like and something you didn't?"
She answered "I love how action packed it looked! How it will still make people not into them want to go and see it." (That's good) "Although the way the turtles are animated kinda freaks me out"
So, there you have it!
UPDATE: March 25 10:00 A.M.
As last night's CinemaCon wrapped up and closed, the journalists, after a long night, went back to their hotel room to type up their thoughts (and their summaries) of the new teaser.
First of all, since I wrapped up last night, I've heard a whole lot of NEGATIVE fan reactions (from a certain Technodrome Forums). What I heard the most was people ranting about how they didn't like the new upcoming changes (April's Dad helping to make the turtles who they are today and Shredder being good [which I'm sure there's a lot more to, since if he's good, and the turtles are fighting him, that means that the turtles are bad)].
But I just want to say that this is a new version of the turtles. The people behind this production didn't set out to make the film from 1990 all over again. They want to make something unique and different, and I'm fine with change (as long as they don't take it too far). And if this movie is horribly? So what? It doesn't ruin the past movies, doesn't ruin the comics, doesn't ruin the TV show, it just ruins the movie in itself.
Anyway, let's get onto those description with the trailers, shall we? (I, again, am not reading these, since I don't want to know step by step what happens. I would like the trailer to make it's impact on me, and not know every single thing that's happening.)
"The best way to describe the look of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is giant, galumping, green babies. Like the baby masks that costume shops sell on Halloween, only as turtles. Similar to these babies below — but with Voldemort's nose and very, very childlike eyes. It's very jarring, but kind of what we expected. However, the turtles are MUCH bigger than we ever suspected. They are absolutely giant, and when they land they make a huge thud noise. They are simply massive. Their skin looked very smooth, similar to how we've seen them before. It's a weird cross of baby face, monster nose, green skin and all tied together by something vaguely phallic.
I'm not saying that they're good or bad. I don't know yet, because it was such a short glimpse. It was definitely weird, at first sight. But the one important note is that the toys do NOT reflect the sheer magnitude of these creatures."
Wow, this makes me really curious to see the new designs (as if I wasn't already). But if there's anything I'm worried about, it's the faces.
In this interview, Devin Faraci bashes all fans of TMNT, saying that we must be 11 years old. Wow, seems like a great dude (sarcasm). They start talking turtles around the 3:30 mark.
UPDATE: March 26 10:18 P.M.
As it gets closer and closer to the TMNT trailer tomorrow, we have heard more about the movie (including three screenshots and a synopsis of the film).
First, here's a closer look at the TMNT 3D glasses.
Then, we got three screenshots from the teaser (first is super low quality)
Looks like this one is Mikey.
Here's April, making sure social media knows about these cool turtles.
And here's...Raph? Don? The internet seems to be conflicted about who this is...but I think it's Raph.
Hmm, interesting. And finally, we have the 'official' synopsis of the new film.
Nothing really new here that we already didn't know, but this definitely says Shredder has a "diabolical plan". So, no, everyone. He is not a goody goody.
UPDATE: March 27 10:40 A.M.
Will Arnett made a (surprise? I didn't hear this appearance being advertised) appearance to the Today Show, showing off the first TMNT movie clips to the public. Here's the link:
It's here, everyone! I haven't watched it yet, because David and I will watch it for our first time as we record our movie news episode! That'll be a fun episode to record, and you won't want to miss it. We'll give our thoughts on everything I've been talking about on here, and it should be really fun! You can subscribe to us and be the first one to hear it when it's out (which won't be until April 1st): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/sewer-sirens-podcast/id725309366?mt=2
This will be the last update on this CinemaCon post, but I hope I can do something like this again. It's been fun. Hope you enjoy the trailer and give our podcast a listen. Turtle Power!
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